Driving me up the wall
Welcome to the new practitioners of a form that perfectly
adheres to the old adage; a house is not a home. Born out of all great English
traditions, House Gymnastics was devised by individuals who were out of work
and determined to avoid the second viewing of Neighbour's that day.
James Robert Ford and Spencer Harrison, recent graduates from Nottingham
Trent University, on the verge of tedium took exception at the sterility
of their shared house and decided to use it best fit; emulating the dexterity
of human flies. Beginning with the nailing of a hard tack whilst leaning
on a window sill, inspiration has developed moves such as the Spiderman,
Parabolic Curve and for those less assured: the Brace.
A combination of athleticism, gymnastics and the absurdity of Sunday afternoons,
James is insistent though that in terms of appreciation one is to study
the supple actions of others as great achievement and not just dangling
off a balcony, giving room to looks of wide-eyed wonder, disbelief and a
temptation to spill Vimto in amazement.
However this is no minor pastime in preference to petting Zoos and National
Trust Houses. House Gymnastics is of growing international interest. The
antics of the terminally skint have attracted devotees and enthusiastic
advocates as formal group members from Australia and Dallas, Texas.
"Steve Ray came up with this move,"; speaks James of the American
Chapter of this urban yoga, "called the Human Flag. It's basically,
he's got this pole and somehow he manages to prop himself up using
a table and stretch out parallel to the floor and his muscles are tearing
out of his arms."
With the launch of the group's website - with move of the month
and step-by-step move guides - the force-field pull of literally climbing
the walls has meant that James and Spencer have had to, in incorporating
new moves from fellow travellers, create the 25th Element. This assault
course come mental warzone, where participants have to perform all twenty-five
moves in the high-canon of House Gym in twenty-five minutes, can be seen
as a challenge with records being set for the quickest time, though in hearts
it is an endurance test comparable to Thermopylae. Hail the new Spartans.
(Will Jenkings, Dazed&Confused, February 2003)